“No thank you.” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.”

“That must be rather difficult.” the man replied.

“Oh, I don’t mind too much.” she said. “But, it has my husband pretty upset.”

The room had about 100 people and it was presented by a former “stock broker” which got people excited about making money. The “free” seminar is a sales pitch for their $495 3-day workshop. They also provide some software for $1199 and esignal account for $39.95/month which will be explained at the workshop.

I found the free seminar reasonable for a novice, they didn’t go into much detail on the actual trading but did touch on Technical indicators and option strategies, stop-losses and other investment advice.

The seminar used a few examples which showed huge profits (in small print there is a disclaimer that results may vary and results are not typical).

After the seminar I used google to find out about the strategies used, specially MACD analysis and decided to create an account on http://www.marketocracy.com to test my theories since I don’t want to use my own money to risk.

I recommend the above site to use paper trading to test new ideas, its a fun site and provides lots of information.

The “rich dad, poor dad” sound too good to be true, I wonder how many of the people that signed up for the $495 workshop will actually make money after 1 year…

I connected the TV to the Antenna to the TV and left it on the second floor inside the house. Did a scan and was surprised on how many channels and the quality I was receiving.

The picture looks amazing, as good as the blu-ray disks without any dropouts.

Without doing any tuning I was able to receive the following channels:

5 – CBC

9 CTV

11 CHCH

23 WNED

25 CBC French

44 OMIN2

57 CITY

64 OMNI1

66 SUNTV

Next step is put it on the roof and see if I can get more American channels. Right now very pleased with the investment and recommend it to anyone who wants to watch TV in full HD mode.

http://www.bestbuy.ca/catalog/proddetail.asp?logon=&langid=EN&sku_id=0926INGFSM2164529&catid=20407

The blu-ray discs are:

Disc 1: THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
Disc 2: I ROBOT
Disc 3: THE TERMINATOR

Since they charge shipping and handling, I decided to try to match at the store. Went to the downtown location at Dundas & Yonge and no problems getting a price match at the checkout. With taxes it came to $23.72 for 3 blu-ray discs.

I like the best buy price match policies which are usually hassle free. I have priced match’ed blu-rays: The Scorpion King and Justice League with Sig Electronics and they come out to $11.20, which is pretty cheap. The price works like this $12.99 at sig, $29.99 at bestbuy which translates to ($12.99-((29.99-12.99)/10) , 10% of the difference.

I have tried to price match at the Futureshop in trinity mall (Hwy 410 and Bovaird) and they have always refused to do it, give every excuse in the book. If you are a frugal (“cheap”) guy or gall avoid this store. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME!

I have had a little better luck (ok, I got lucky once!) at the Airport & Queen location and was able to get a One touch maxtor external HD for $117, which was less then half-price of the shelf. How did I do it you may ask ? Simple:

Futureshop Price:                         $249

Infonec Price:                                 $129

Difference:                                         $120

10%                                                      $12

Lowest Price – Difference/10:   $117

I think Futureshop lost money on that sale!

One of the best price match policies I have seen is the Walmart on Queen Street, not only do they pricematch the competition, they have the competition flyers right there on the front of the store so that you can check the prices. A couple of weeks ago, I price match’ed the Delissio pizza from “Food Basics” flyer for $2.99. The original price is $5.47. Pretty good discount, hey ?

So keep your eyes on for the flyers and use the price match policy of the stores to get the best deals.

Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for
$100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I
have some bad news, the horse died.”
Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money
back.”
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent
it already”
Chuck said, “Ok, then, just bring me the dead
horse.”
The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
Chuck said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead
horse!”
Chuck said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t
tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked,
“What happened with that dead horse?”
Chuck said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at
two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.”
The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Chuck said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his
two dollars back.”
Chuck grew up and works now for the government. He was the
one who figured out how to “bail us out”.

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!”

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear.

Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs — and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,  San Antonio , TX

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.

“Big breaths,” I instructed.

“Yes, they used to be,” replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,  Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a “massive internal fart.”

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. “Which one?” I asked.

“The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours, and now I’m running out of places to put it!”

I had him quickly undress, and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see.  Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St . Clair, Norfolk , VA.

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, “How long have you been bedridden?”

After a look of complete confusion, she answered…”Why, not for about twenty years — when my husband was alive.”

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson,  Corvallis , OR

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, “So, how’s your breakfast this morning?”

“It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste,” the patient replied.

I then asked to see the jelly, and the woman produced a foil packet labelled “KY Jelly.”

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI

7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered.

It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, “Keep off the grass.”

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient’s dressing, which said, “Sorry, had to mow the lawn.”

Submitted by RN, no name

8. I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test.  I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began,

“Cover your right eye with your hand.”

He read the 20/20 line perfectly. “Now your left.”

Again, a flawless read. “Now both,” I requested.

There was silence. He couldn’t even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

9. An elderly patient became irate during a medical examination when he peaked at the doctor’s chart and saw that the doctor had written Major S.O.B. underlined at the bottom.

The physician stopped him in mid-rant by saying “Major Shortness of Breath. But now they both apply.”

Unnamed Physician

10. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment,

I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?”

She replied, “No doctor, but the song you were whistling was,

“I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.”

Doctor wouldn’t submit his name (Can’t blame him!)